“An Open Letter to My Perhaps and Mayhap”

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Art by: Hadas Raiss (Berlin Art Parasites)

If you’re reading this. You’re one hell of a lucky guy, but I have to say that life with me gets a little complex here which makes you somehow unfortunate.
Perhaps, I’m what they call Irony because Im strange yet unpredictable, confusing yet in a way funny.
Perhaps I’m paradox, I’m wild but contained, fierce but calm.
Mayhap, you matter. And I hate to admit that.

You somehow managed to contrive a passaged trafficked with boys who got submerged in the idea of youth, casual flings, and unsubstantial beings trying to invade my mortality. Perhaps, your plan was successful and you somehow managed to break through my walls. But I am the ocean. After one gigantic wave, here comes one, and here comes another, my barriers seem to be endless. But, they are just waves babe, if you want to take the impact of pain or you just want to ride and have fun. I’m good with both.

The thing that we have, whatever they call it, is putting me in a crowd of unfamiliar faces, hoping there’s just one detail of the physique of the strangers that passes by that can make me have a gist of where am I at this point. Perhaps, I am scared to know that I am inlove but uncertain when will this affinity last. People will tell you that I am a pattern of shifts “New-love, Old-drop” I’m a sucker for infatuation, I love new things, and that’s exactly the problem you’re a new thing.
Perhaps, I am curious of your being
Perhaps, from the time that we’ve met you have managed to keep me curious.

Do not break your own heart by expecting more than I could give you. I destroy everything I touch. But here’s the good part; you’ll never get bored of me. What scares me is the thought of me getting bored because I don’t want to leave.
Perhaps, you are torture. I enjoy torture. Never beg, tease me, act like you don’t care, brush me off. I know that’s not normal, I’ll enjoy that. But then I know that you’ll struggle with what gauge you’ll take to tame me. You’ll get very unsure, confused, perplexed. I’m not most girls, and that made you curious, that made you interested, so I know you’ll cling.

Perhaps, I am giving in.
Perhaps, you’re the guy I’ll never get tired of.
Perhaps, I’m in love with you.
Possibly but I am not certain.
Mayhap, I’m not sure but I’ll take this adventure of figuring it out with you.

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